You can listen to Episode S4E1 right here!
Lori Pinkerton-Rolet
Hello, and welcome to the Third Age Design podcast, sharing essential information on senior environments. I’m Lori Pinkerton-Rolet and this month, we’ve got a New Year’s gift for you. Every month I tell you about joining our community on the website at ThirdAge.Design, because you get ‘A TAD Extra’ each quarter, which is exclusive information for members. Now, if you’re already a member, I have no doubt that you’ll want to hear this again. And if you’re a regular podcast listener, we’d like to let you know what you’ve been missing if you haven’t joined already. The podcasts allow us to learn from experts from all around the world on design, innovation in senior living. But a half hour just doesn’t give us enough time for CONTEXT. And that is the extremely valuable information you’ll hear about today, and in all future ‘TAD Extras’ when you join. Like our podcast, this information is freely shared to support best practice and innovation to operators, architects, designers, students, and, really, anyone interested in this very important topic. We’ll be continuing our World Series of design next month. But I’d like to give you some background on the TAD Extra we’re about to hear. In November of 2023. We interviewed Gail Marie bio, a psychogeriatrician working at Le Village Landais in France, where extensive research is underway as to how people with dementia can live with seemingly unfettered freedom in a safe environment which is being tested against medication levels, depression, and anxiety. Now in this podcast, you will have heard how interaction with landscape, personal possessions including furniture, and the use of light and dark in design is creating a whole new model in dementia care. Well, today you’re gonna get the context from my colleague Valerie Adler, a former public radio announcer in the United States, and daughter of the legendary Lou Adler of CBS News Radio in New York…a reminder to all of us of apples not falling very far from the trees. Anyyway, while English is not the first language of our guest, his heartfelt backstory, and the information he provides from a residents point of view is well invaluable.
Valerie Adler
Hello, I’m Valerie Adler with Third Age Design, and this is a TAD Extra. Our November podcast took us to Le Village Landais, a remarkable experimental care facility in the northwest of France, where the residents or villagers all people living with Alzheimer’s or other forms of dementia, and joy and almost inconceivable degree of autonomy and freedom of movement. The village itself is the subject of extensive research by teams at the University of Bordeaux, whose researchers are working to understand the effects of the innovative care that the villagers receive. And not just the effects on the villagers, but also their families, caregivers, village volunteers and the professionals who work there. Following our interview with Gaille Marie-Bailleul, the geriatric psychiatrist who plays a leading role at Village Landais, she suggested that we speak to Jean Pierre Lombard, whose wife ln lived at Le Village until her death in May of this year. Jean Pierre shared his experience. It’s a deeply personal story, and as heartbreaking as you might imagine, yet, Le Village is an incredible place. And as jumpier explained, he and Helene were able to spend the last of their time together, focusing on what was left, not on what had been lost.
Jean Pierre Lombard
Helene, when she was how do you call that diagnose, dial, diagnose, diagnosd, that was in 2016. And she was, January, and she was 56. So she was a young alzheimer. 56 and she, she, she died when she was 63. So pretty hard. So it as you can imagine 2016…do it was a long way. With the how do you call that this speech? Picture? We’re going to we call it autophonist in French in speech. Yeah. Okay, so she started with that. And so that was 2016, 17, 2018 and then it was very hard for me to have her at home just by my self, so I had people coming in, in 2019 ,2020 at home in the morning for the toilet, to washing and so on, and in the afternoon they were coming from two to six to five days a week to allow me to actually to go and play golf and get away a little bit. So it was very, very hard. And then I actually I was the, our neurologist was in Bordeaux, I live in Bergeraic, east of Bordeaux one hour 15 minutes and and three hours from Dec
Valerie Adler
okay
Jean Pierre Lombard
So we had the neurologist in Bordeaux and so we were pretty close and and and then everything change when actually Helene fell, actually exactly where I was preparing breakfast. Back and she open, I thought she died. Plenty of blood. So she had the 14 stitches so and then we with with the neurologist in Bordeaux, we decided that it was too dangerous to keep her at home. And and then I was very lucky. Because within two weeks, I had there was a place she could join the village in Dax.
Valerie Adler
How did you hear about it?
Jean Pierre Lombard
From from the neurologist in Bordeaux, she she is part of a bigger, it’s called Paragon hospital. It’s a big neurologist centre with research. And this lady she was specialised in young alzheimers, that’s why Helene was you know, was patient. And helping they thought they had a link with Village Alzheimer’s is looking at this with Gaille..and so and so between her and Gaille. So I did I did my job which which was to register to the normal way blah, blah, blah. And but there’s a waiting list, if I remember well, one year and a half or two years or something like that. And, and I she was young alzheimer and fortunate and and then there was a free space for young alzheimers, have 120 patient people with Alzheimer’s and and 10 must be younger. Okay, which is less than 60 Okay, so, so then sure this suddenly it went very, very fast. I had to take the decision very quickly. And I again called called me I think on a Tuesday and she had to be there the following Tuesday. Wow. Very good. So so obviously I still videos about it and and, and and, and the neurologist told me a lot about this place. And so I was convinced that you know it was the proper space for Helene. Helene was young, very young. And she She was a beautiful person in the sense that she you know, love, everybody and everything. Every single person, every single flower, tree, dog, deer, because we I am here, it’s, you know, surrounded with vineyards. And it’s, it’s in Bergeraic, but on the hill, and so, so, so beautiful person, she changed my life completely. I met her in, in a plane between Paris and Los Angeles. She was she was going home to Tahiti, Polynesia, and I was going and works in, on the west coast, in San Diego, and we met, we met on the plane, we were both married. That was in 2011. And, and we talk I swear, the whole the whole trip, which is 12 hours, non-stop. And at the end of the 12 hours, she was going on. And I was going to San Diego. And we said we were going to live together. And, and we made it happen. And five, six months later, we were living together, going into divorce stuff, and all these things, but and, and she changed my life because I was I was you know, I’ve always been in business, I have opened a lot of a lot of stores, restaurants all over the world, I was always in a plane, I was always, you know, going fast, we were seeing and in 12 hours told me that’s not the right way to spend your life. And she was she was all about, you know, going slowly, one step at a time. You know, when you work, you, you watch your step, your first step and the second and the third. And so she changed my life in that way completely. And and then I, I, I started again, I have 20 years of space. And so I stopped that. And I I watch I did some some consistency with still with the same business in the state. But you know, at a much slower pace than working, working every so beautiful person. And we we could have spent a hell of a lot of years together. Since her mother still lives and she’s 92 My mother still live and she will be 100 years old on December 1. My father died it was 94. So we had plenty of time.
Valerie Adler
Of course. We all think we do.
Jean Pierre Lombard
We all think we do, and and then this terrible disease.
Valerie Adler
When she was diagnosed, she probably was having symptoms and realise that something wasn’t right but how long was she able to participate in decisions about her care?
Jean Pierre Lombard
Actually, she never participated. Really? No. I don’t know if it was You know, everything which happens must happen. She had a lot of stuff, she had this, but in 2018 She was also diagnosed with cancer. So she had cancer. I don’t know exactly. uterus, you know. And, and, and then it went also here you know, metastatic so she was apparently never happens. Of course, nothing never happens, but in that case it happened. So she has a long 12 hour operation to try to get rid of not or the uturus, that was pretty quick, three hours it was done, but for the rest but it was started at eight went up to 8pm and so very, very long. And again, I tell you that because she never complained. She never said anything about it. We never talked about anything.Alzehimer, cancer, whatever happened. Never. And we just went on living.
Valerie Adler
Okay, so so not talking about it was a choice.
Jean Pierre Lombard
Not mine. Right? But hers. And and I still I cannot explain it except that you know, she was leaving one hour after the other. And, and this she was doing it as I told you before.
Valerie Adler
…that was her way of living her life. So so so I’d like to be able to talk about this in the context of Village Landais obviously but by the time she went there I guess she wasn’t really aware of that.
Jean Pierre Lombard
No, not at all. Not at all. We we we, we went there on on the Mondays at previous Sunday. We as usual we went to the golf course and she could not play anymore but she was helping me and we had lunch as usual with steak tartar….and the next day we went to DAX (wow) with the stuff in the car and you know it’s because you can bring some furniture and and see that we went there and and the fact that actually everything went pretty smooth was the Village Landais itself. When you get there, of course it’s secure. But then you get in you have a big village centre getting big, huge, you can see you can see shops, you can see the restaurant, and then you can see the grocery store and you can see the sport facility and you can see the library and the hairdresser and so, your arrival like in a village, a place of residence and so it’s nice beautiful. and then you have four hectares of land. So, you go you go there and then you have they call it a quatier. You have a you have a total of 20 houses, five together ,and so four areas of 5 houses. So, so they’re all separated, but you can see all of them. And then you have a pond you have, you have donkeys you have raised flowers is often beautiful. So that’s how we got in the two of us. And we worked Of course, of course guys were there with us. And she grabbed us and we went to a friend’s house, which was house number 15. And, and, and, and, and then it’s, you know, it’s, it’s, so you go through your paths, again trees, flowers, and you get to the house which is a wooden house…small… you get in you have the experience with the open kitchen table. It’s all open. And you have the rooms which are which are on the side, all around the house. And, Helene had actually the first room on the right hand side. And so so we were greeted, there was the other people ‘Hello’, Helene loved everybody saying hello to everybody and we were talkikng. Then we wish we went to the room, nice room ,with a big window. And we actually could see the pone over there which is like the trees, flowers. And nice room big the the bed was not medical bed. It was a normal single bed. And and, and very quickly so we went a little bit in the house to look at it I at the same time. People came in and put Helene’s furniture. The one that we had in our bedroom, on her side, same stuff, and so when we with the coffers, the big, big stuff with with drawers and she had all of her stuff in is obviously still there. And with with a mirror. So when we when we came back and everything was there… her stuff was there.
Valerie Adler
and it felt a little bit like home already.
Jean Pierre Lombard
And it was her bedroom. Our bedroom and, and, and okay, and then I took her in the park and we walked and she was saying it’s beautiful. The tree, tall, the flowers… and and we went and we went around this big pond I mean you familiar with hectares ffour hectars, and we walked and and she was happy.
Valerie Adler
it must have made you feel so much more comfortable. But you live. I mean, she she obviously knew who you were, but did she understand that you were going to leave without her?
Jean Pierre Lombard
I don’t know if she knew with the with the psychologist. We decided she she? She told me you know you talk a lot, Helene was staying with other guys, when I was talking with the psychologist. And she asked me a lot of question, you know, how all her habits and eating habits and, and, and we said also and I said, you know, we we have been always together. Always, always, when I was going to the States, she was coming with me we’re going to work and if and and she and she actually she, she wanted that we stay together. Sometimes like my friend was surprised. And we were talking about it all the other other women will seem wrong, Helene this is not the way you should you know, you both of you, you have to do your own thing. No, No. We are doing everything together.
Valerie Adler
It’s the same with me and my, it’s the same with me and my partner, always together.
Jean Pierre Lombard
Always together. And, and we did so we know when we when we came together in 2011. And so, with the psychologist… so it’s going to be hard. We’re always together. So when when, when you when these happen that you are not together I said the only time we were not together is when I was going to work. And, and then she did her own thing she was it was in between San Diego and Los Angeles. We had a hotel on the beach, she was going to the beach. She loved love the sea. And she either a lot of she travelled by boat with in her previous life with her then husband and and four years old, she they went from Marseille to to the Marquis island by boat on 14 metres sailing boat…the three of them. Okay, she she from since she was small, she always wanted to travel by boat. So, so we decided that when I was going to leave, I was going to say that I’m going to work and I will come back. So and that was during two years.
Valerie Adler
But you didn’t see her every day, did you?
Jean Pierre Lombard
No, because I was living in Bergeriac…like three hours. Yeah. Yeah. So I was going there every Monday. I’ve been I went there every Monday. And until when she was really not well. And that was maybe something like three or four weeks before she passed away. And then I I lived in a studio in in the village and then watch with her from eight o’clock to 1130 at night during three or four weeks everyday.
Valerie Adler
Did she know who you were?
Jean Pierre Lombard
Yes. Yes. Yes. I was the only one. She didn’t recognise her mother, her son…or son …the faces with some familiar but she she was she was always smiling at everybody so difficult to know. But yeah, we it was. It was it I was fortunate enough that she’ll recognise me all the time. And it was a it was my my my family but uh greater satisfaction that you know when you come in and and then then, you know, sometimes she she was she was in (not clear) And she was looking at me and a big smile
Valerie Adler
of course, you were happy.
Jean Pierre Lombard
That was my day.
Valerie Adler
How do you feel that her ability to just be free in the space because that’s very different from other places that are nursing homes? I mean, the idea that one of the key concepts of Village Landais is the is the autonomy is the freedom. So do you feel that that made a difference to her? Her temperament her demeanour? Her happiness?
Jean Pierre Lombard
Yes, definitely, definitely. Because she could she was on her own in her bedroom. She was going to the, in the house, but she was going outside. And it was also it was very close to the to the caretakers. So, when the caretaker was going to the grocery, for instance, to pick up the food for lunch and see Helene, and Helene was, she she was very, very, she loved walking, running when I was gonna. And unfortunately, not everybody among the other people were because a lot of them, I mean, 90% of them was much older than Helene She was going with other people, you know, when she was going with us seeing guys who were very close together, and she was being with her, so she moved freely. There. And, and, and it was that fit her very much. Because she was free. She was you know, she was going and you could spend minutes and minutes, just looking at one flower or one tree. And she liked talking to people and so, yes,
Valerie Adler
did she did she cook? I mean, one of the things that we were talking about yet, when Gaille and I were talking was, you know, it’s less important, whether they cut themselves that if they’re not permitted to do something like cook, if that’s what they love to do. So she did that?
Jean Pierre Lombard
She did that. She did that. At the beginning. The beginning, not very long, because she was before Alzheimer’s, which she did all the cooking. And she cooked very well. But the last here the last two years, I was doing all the cooking for you.
Valerie Adler
So she was a you were cooking at home but when she went to Village Landais, she started to cook again?
Jean Pierre Lombard
Not by yourself. She was helping. No, she was she was helping and and she was doing just little things but but but yeah, I you know, that’s one of the things I regret that we we the family we are not informed well enough about or you know, everything they can still do. I love…there is a beautiful, and I met the guy, John Ziegler. He wrote a book is an American from Boston. And it’s the book is called ‘I’m Still Here.’ And it says it all. I’m still here. And when I read this book, it changed my way of talking to Helene, looking Helene, loving Helenem because I concentrated on what was left. Good, and I was not looking at her, at all these things which were gone. And, and, and, and that chance to, you know, just looking at what was left, what was left was to be able to touchher , to kiss her to, to look at books with nice pictures, to listen to music, that, that that was there until the end. Nothing else. And so just just to concentrate on that and just to, you know, just to, again to touch her to kiss her to look at her because she could not talk anymore. And and all this, this, this, this was lasting six or seven hours, six or seven hours, when, before I read this book, sometimes and now you feel ashamed that sometime I was thinking to myself, you know, what, what are we going to do? We are going to walk and you know, and this is terrible when I think of it. And I wish everybody who has family with Alzheimer knew from the beginning to, to, to look at what is left and not at what is sick. And so, so yes, I, I have, I have a lot of regret in in this regard that, you know, we, we we don’t know enough. And actually with Gaillen, we are writing a book for families. It’s going to be 11 chapters. And I wrote actually the last one, chapter 11, which is the end of life. ( I would love to read that )Yeah, it’s not not published yet. It’s hopefully, hopefully, by the end of the year or beginning of next year, it’s going to be to be public, but it’s a testimony of family who, who from from, you know, 11 different subjects could tell about how they leave that particular time. Just to tell, you know, what’s going on and, and to get prepared and, and, and, and be able to spend all the valuable time which is left together. And you know, and because even if it lasts so long. It goes so fast.
Valerie Adler
It was hard to say goodbye to Jean Pierre…and we continue talking for a while. I asked him if you could have changed something about Village Landais, what would it have been? He told me nothing. It felt as though he and Helene had been surrounded by family and, and I quote ‘an educated family, a family of kind smiling people who had time and understanding and knew what to do and how to help those around them.’ And all this in a very open and beautiful setting. We who create environments for people living with dementia can do a much better job when we really understand what works and why. And Third Age Design is here to gather and share this essential information. We invest this effort in order to help our community in the full knowledge that if ever there were a case of what we reap we sow it’s in creating the places we’ll have our own Third Age.
Lori Pinkerton-Rolet
I certainly found that very powerful and wished that I had more time to reap myself. Having worked in the sector for longer than I’m going to admit. I do take time to speak to residents both before creating environments and after. But do I ever get a half hour to sit down and get a full picture of their experience and how the environment has actually affected them? I’m going to let you answer that one. You’ll find links to Le Village Landais on the podcast page for this episode at www Third Age dot Design as well as the link to the original podcast that this TAD Extra references, and of course our international events calendar and the ‘Join Us ‘button which will allow you to listen to future TAD Extras. We’ll be back to our usual format for next month, including the Innovation Spotlight when we’ll look at a new tool for supporting people living with dementia. And when our World Series of Design continues with a unique European development scheme for the Third Age. Thank you to today’s special guest John Pierre Lombard to our interviewer, Valerie Adler, to Producer Mike Scales. And finally to you for listening on Lori Pinkerton-Rolet and I do hope you’ll join me for the next one.